Yellow Cheese

My first actual nursing-related job was as a CNA in a nursing home. I think everyone should work at some point as a CNA in a nursing home. You learn so many important lessons in that role, lessons of gentleness, patience, charity. It is tricky to help an individual retain even an ounce of dignity as you change their dirty diaper, shower them, pull up their pants, comb their hair, put in their dentures, and spoon feed them pureed meat mystery. You CAN'T do all that stuff without your heart softening a bit. There were patients that drove me CRAZY at times but as I served them, I couldn't help but love them. You got to know so much about them as you assisted them throughout the day and in and out of months.

I still remember all of my patients. I remember Mrs. Gardner with the terrible shingles. She hurt SO badly yet always smiled at me and asked me about my love life while I messaged her poor back. Mr. Basker was left partially paralyzed from a stroke but was VERY particular about what he'd let you help him with. If you tried to brush his hair or button his shirt he'd HOLLER! Flora was as angelic a woman as I could ever imagine. She no longer talked, I suppose she couldn't, but her beautiful blue years shined so brightly and her hair was a gorgeous fluffy white, silky soft halo. To thank me for my assistance, she'd reach up her small, thin, wrinkled hand and brush my cheek. I spent all my free time making Rosemary comfortable. She must have been less than fifty but was already confined to bed without anyone to assist do to Multiple Sclerosis. Having a dear friend of mine also diagnosed with MS, I was drawn to her room to help in whatever way possible, praying that some day, if my cherished friend also found herself in a situation like Rosemary's that she'd have someone like me to help her.

My very favorite patient was Genevieve. She was spunky and cute. With her salt and pepper hair and owl rimmed glasses and cat socks and hot pink slippers, I couldn't help but smile every time I saw her. She would shuffle down the hallway in her wheelchair, forgetting that she could use her hands to push her, instead just scoot along by brushing her barely-touching feet along the floor. She would often do laps around the care center after mealtime or activities, not for the exercise but because she couldn't remember where her room was or even what she'd been doing, so she just kept going in circles until I'd find her and give her a lift. And she LOVED cheddar cheese. Every day, as I brought around the snack cart, I knew to save her out a little packaged cheddar cheese. Without fail, when asked what she'd like for a snack, she'd forgo the Oreos and pudding and Ritz Bits, asking instead for the "yellow cheese". "I just love that so much. It is my absolute favorite, you know!" Yes, I knew.

Time went by and eventually I had to leave my job. I skipped town for 3 months and returned married and licensed as an LPN. My previous place of work didn't need LPNs so I found work elsewhere. Months went by and one day, as I was passing out medications, I saw a familiar figure turn the corner of the hallway and start scooting toward me. It was Genevieve. Supposedly, her family had removed her from the previous facility after a battle with the owners and had relocated to this new one. I was SO happy. I ran up to the snack cart, grabbed out a cheddar cheese, and hurried down the hall to give it to her along with a hug. She looked up at me with a smile and said "Thanks, Lovey! Yellow cheese is my favorite!" She didn't recognize me, just like she never had recognized me day to day before, but I recognized her and was filled with joy. I never saw her after that. She passed away before my next shift.

The joy I felt on seeing her reminded me of how I imagine that heaven will be, only it will be so much better. Eventually, we'll all see each other again, all those wonderful, dear people that we love yet have been separated from for such a long time, but this time we will be made perfect. Someday, I will see Genevieve again. Her mind and body with be new and whole and well, but her soul, her beautiful soul, with be the same, and I will recognize her and rejoice with her.