The nurse that I was relieving pulled me aside to explain what was going on with this patient. Our patient had just delivered a little girl. This girl had some extremely severe and incredibly rare developmental malformations that aren't compatible with life. Most babies affected by this disorder never make it even close to term. This precious little one made it to term but would now be put on comfort measures only. She wouldn't make it long, considering these malformations made it impossible to eat and many of her organs weren't functional.
On top of all this, my patient had already had another baby born with the exact same disorder a couple years back. She had already gone through the pain and sorrow and grief of slowly watching one child pass away and now would have to go through it again.
All I could think about was my healthy, happy, perfect baby sleeping comfortably at home in his crib. I cried for fifteen minutes straight before I could even go in and meet my patient.
When I finally composed myself, I entered my patient's room. She was cradling her sweet little girl and singing to her in Spanish. Over and over again she repeated "Hello my sweet, beautiful princess! I LOVE you! You are so beautiful, my dear sweet girl! My princess, my princess." She had such a wonderful smile on her face. I was completely shocked. I expected to see eyes red and swollen from crying. I expected sorrow and despair. And instead, I was witness to her smiling and loving on her little baby. In her eyes, her daughter was beautiful and precious and she was SO grateful for every moment she got to hold her and kiss her and look at her.
At first, I thought "Surely, this woman must not know what is going on. She must not understand the situation clearly." And then I remembered that she knows EXACTLY what is going on. She has been through this before. She knows EXACTLY what to expect. And instead of crying, she has chosen to REJOICE. She has chosen not to waste a MINUTE of her short time with her daughter in sorrowing.
I was deeply touched. After checking on mother and baby, I left her room and again cried for fifteen minutes before I could return and actually be her nurse for the rest of the night.
That shift I witnessed something truly special, truly extraordinary. This woman understood what life is all about. It is about cherishing the moments and finding beauty everywhere. It is about rejoicing in the time we have and focusing on JOY.
I have thought many times about how I would react in her situation. I don't think I can truly know unless it happened to me, but what I DO know, is that this worldly experience is just temporary. There is life after death and our trials and burdens won't last. In fact, I believe that some of our hardest moments are some of our most spiritual. We can find ourselves incredibly close to God during those times that we feel our world has crumbled to pieces.
This last week, my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, held it's semi-annual General Conference. We heard from leaders of our church for 10 hours over a 2 day span. It was marvelous and uplifting in every way. One of our apostles, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, gave this beautiful talk entitled Grateful in Any Circumstances. I thought of this sweet patient and her daughter as I listened on Sunday. Here are some of my favorite parts:
"Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.
We can be grateful!
It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.
We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.
This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.
When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?
Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.
This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.
In any circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness; that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, “good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.'"
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What a beautiful reminder. How grateful I am for my savior, Jesus Christ, and the hope and JOY that he gives me. I would be nothing without him.
Beautiful, beautiful story Laura. Thanks for sharing. It made me cry, of course, but I appreciated the happiness and gratitude that you tied in. That truly is what matters!
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